Remembering 2013.

When I was in high school, I began writing little recaps at the end of the year. Of course back then it was on myspace, progressed to Facebook, and here I am today finding myself writing it here. It's so easy at the end of the year to be completely "new year" minded, totally focused on the things that are right around the corner, the things you want to accomplish, and the uncertainty of what is next. But while I am still excited for all of those things, I feel like I owe it to 2013, to sit back with a cup of joe, and remember. To remember and celebrate all the victories, all the failures, all the adventures, excitements, goals, smiles, tears, hurt, and love I have experienced during 2013's lifetime.

• I rang in 2013 and received my first New Year's kiss. Props Cody. 
• Cody and I officially began telling people we were back together,  two months after we had been back together. We were even FBO by the end of the month. ;)
• Cody flipped his car, during icy weather, and I have never been so scared in my life.
• Cody turned 20, and he made me and 2 of our friends go watch Movie 43. He still hasn't lived that one down. 
• I got to see two of my favorite bands on tour together, MMF and For Today. 
• Cody bought me a huge unicorn for Valentine's Day.
• I put red in my hair. 
• I turned 20. 
• Cody and I did a "30 day Paleo Challenge" and didn't make it all 30 days.
• My parent's celebrated their 40th Wedding anniversary.
• I saw Cody play with Theory Of Resistance.
• Cody left TOR.
• My best friend and I went to the RED tour, and watching Taylor Swift live was basically life changing. I cried so many times.
• I went to youth camp for the second time as a counselor. 
• We were Camp Champs for the second year in a row.
• I celebrated 3 years with HEB, and then applied for a promotion the next day.
• After two hectic interviews, and two months of waiting, I got accepted into SORM. 
• Cody became the new bassist for Forever In Your Eyes.
• My grandma passed away.
• I almost died at Warped Tour twice. Once in a pit, Second by dehydration and overheating.
• I decided to take a year off of school.
• I chopped all my hair off, and am still not sure how I feel about it.
• I bought a new car, all by myself.
• We went to the State Fair and easily have grease clogged in our arteries to this day.
• I went black friday shopping at the San Marcos outlets. (SO WONDERFUL)
• I struggled with being content in where God has me.
• Cody took me to Paris and Enloe to visit his family. I saw the Eiffel tower, was in the Enloe town Fourth of July parade, and played monopoly all night with his incredibly sweet cousins. 
• Ol South pancake house became Cody and I's "place". 
• I planned and had some of the most fun ever at Partner Outings with my HEB family.
• Discovered I'm a pretty darn good cook.
• Was asked to be a bridesmaid in the upcoming wedding of two of my sweet friends, Savannah and Walker.

I went back and looked at my 2012 recap, and at the end I wrote that my one word for 2013 was Opportunity. Now more than ever do I believe that word was from the Lord. I have been blessed with so much this year, and have tried to make the most of it. I spent a lot of this year working hard towards goals for work, and positions that I wanted, some that I didn't even see in my grasp at the beginning of 2013. This year was spent rekindling a love and a relationship, and falling more in love than I ever was before. This year was spent growing, and learning, and pushing myself to new levels. It was struggling with being good enough. It was worrying about things that only God has the plan and answer to. It was learning to be okay with the unknown "what is to come", and letting God be God. 2013 was filled with so much good, so many opportunities that I certainly did not expect or necessarily deserve. But I serve a faithful God who sees so much more in me than I do myself, and entrusts me with some pretty great things. I am thankful for the life lessons that 2013 has taught me, the joy it has brought me, and the memories it has created. 

2014, I am ready for you. I believe 2014 will be a year of Change and Challenges, and I stand firm, and unafraid, and nothing less of ecstatic for what is to come. 

Next.

Everyone is always waiting for the "what's next?". Ever since Cody and I started dating, a hundred dozen people have planned our wedding, claimed to be the first to "call it happening", or mentioned the event to us or our parents. For a long time, it freaked me out. I am a control freak planner, and having others try and plan my future out for me was probably the scariest thing anyone could do to me.

Twenty has been a weird year for me. God has opened up some incredible doors for me as with my job, and the company I work with, and I honestly feel like I'm growing up ((or as close to growing up as a Hello Kitty and Unicorn obsessed twenty year old can get)) but I also feel like I'm a little sucked in to the "what's next?" band wagon as everyone else. I feel like I'm playing this waiting game, just waiting for the next big thing in my life to happen, and my problem is that I've been trying to figure it out alone. I've let everyone else's hopes for my future be my agent of fuel and motivation, rather than listening to what the Lord is desiring for my future. I've prayed and asked God for His direction, but never heard a thing, until today. I read a scripture this morning, it caught my eye, I read it again, and then went on with my day. But I haven't been able to get it out of my head, and then I knew God must be trying to tell me something. Here's the verse: "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21. 

I have realized that it is not my right, nor Cody's right, or any person we knows right to determine, decide, or desire when we get married ((heck, he might come to his senses and ditch me for good)). 

The Lord, HE is the One who gets to decide. HIS plan is the one that will unfold, and that I needed to let go of what everyone else wants, what everyone else says, what I want, and just let God be God. 

Whether we get married a year from now, or ten years from now, I choose to wait on God's timing. I choose to celebrate the "now" and let God plan the "next".  You don't know best, I certainly don't know best, but the God I serve certainly does, and as a girl who has been dreaming of her wedding day for as long as I can remember, what could be greater than that? 

Christians.

The people protesting outside of funerals. People who want to control what a woman can and cannot do with her body. Hypocrites. Bible Thumpers. Hate gays. Judgmental. Those people that wear those cheesy t-shirts like "A Bread Crumb and Fish" that is supposed to look like "Abercrombie" but really doesn't. Irrational. Believe they are superior to others. 

Watch the news, read online articles, walk the streets, and this is what people are saying about Christians. Well, with the exception of the t-shirt thing, that's just my own personal issue...

I went to Google and typed "Christians are" in my search bar. You know what popped up as the top searches? 

Christians are weird.

                       hateful.

                       fake.

                       annoying.

                       mean.

                       wrong.

                       hypocritical.

                       deluded. 

                       not persecuted.

Yesterday I went to Warped Tour for the very first time. After they opened the gates, we (Cody and I) went and sat under the pavilion to plan our day, and look at the line up. While we were sitting the first band of the day began to play. Their sound was good, so we kept listening. The front man dropped a few "f bombs" among other profanity. At a heavy metal show it is expected. I don't mean that to say I approve of that kind of language, but in that scene where faith based bands play with all kinds of musicians, I've learned to tune some of it out. But there were some things I just couldn't tune out. As the band goes to play the last song in their set, he starts talking about this country and making very passionate statements about legalizing abortion, gay marriage, and a very vulgar remark about the Bible. It made me sick. It was offensive. It made me angry. At first I was angry that he would make a remark like that on a stage. A remark about a book I've been taught from for as long as I can remember. But then my anger switched. Though I have no desire to ever see that band live again, or listen to their music on my free time, I wasn't angry at him for what he said, I was angry at what people have done to the name of Christianity. 

I grew up in church. I went to church every Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night, and watched Gospel Bill on Saturday mornings in between. I went to every VBS my church hosted. My parents drug me to revival meetings during the week as kid. I memorized scripture. I sang the songs. I preached to my stuffed animals. I knew who Jesus was. I believed in who Jesus was. As I've grown up I have come to realize who He is. What He has saved and healed and delivered me from. But the one thing I have learned is that I'm not perfect, and that it's okay. Christians are people. People aren't perfect. The God we serve doesn't expect us to be, and doesn't want us to be either. When Jesus came to earth over 2000 years ago, he came to establish a new law. For so long Israel was under such strict law, and Jesus came to abolish that. He took all the laws and combined them all into two. Love the Lord and love people. When you do those two things, everything else follows. So when I hear Christians given the names they are. When I see Christians given the reputation they are, it hurts me. No where in the Bible does it say you are better than someone once Christ saves you. No where in the Bible does it say you now have the right to judge someone for who they are or how they live. That's God's job. Your job is to love them. Your job is to shine the love you've received to them. Then, let God do the rest. He does the life saving, not you. He does the life changing, not you. I can't tell you how many times I've been at work and handed a Bible pamphlet and told "you look like you could need this", because I have a ring in my nose and gauges in my ears. That's not my God. Countless times I've heard remarks about the Heavy Metal I listen to being "Devil Music". But some of these lyrics, some of these words are words that have transformed my life. I've been judged for having tattoos. Told that tattoos are a sin. Do I believe I'll go to hell for having tattoos? Sure don't. That's not the God that I serve. The God I serve, the God I love, the God I have surrendered my life to doesn't look at the outside, he looks at the inside. He is a God of Love. Mercy. Compassion. Second chances. Third chances. Peace. Restoration. Hope. Forgiveness. 

Something needs to happen. It isn't fair that a small group of radical crazy people claiming the title "Christians" get to be the voice for us all. But I know it will only change when a group of people powered by the love of Christ inside of them dedicated to showing the world Jesus Christ in a different way. It isn't a new way, it isn't in any man made book or pamphlet. It isn't in any words we could think of to say. It's the way He made His mark in this world. It's reason people still choose to follow Him thousands of years later. It's choosing to live a life dedicated to loving others. That's how Christ lived His life, and that's how I strive to live mine. 

Rules of Thrift Shopping.

If you don't know this already, I LOVE to thrift shop. Growing up, I have always been a history guru, and spent much time shopping in antique stores, and learning to APPRECIATE antiques, vintage, and history. I was the definition of "girl" growing up. I'd wear dresses every day, thought I was a princess, and always had some form of curl, braid, and bow in my hair. In present, I'm dating an incredibly talented musician, and we spent a lot of time in the metal/hardcore scene, which has added a bit of a edge to my style. I can't fit my style into a specific category, heck I'm not sure if I even have style, it just describes: me. Thrifting is a huge part of my style, because it allows me to find pieces that are perfect for me, pieces that no one else has, pieces that have a history attached to them, pieces that I can completely make my own. I get a lot of questions about thrifting. "Where do you go?" "What do you look for?" "How much was that??" "Can I come with you?" So I decided to post some of my personal guidelines or "rules" for thrift shopping.

1. Goodwill is not a thrift store.  Aside from there occasional half of everything sales, and days when I feel like wasting four hours of my life digging through there racks, I don't shop at goodwill. Honestly, Goodwill is a little pricy for me, (wow, you know its bad when Goodwill is too expensive) but I say that because There is much more out there. Goodwill's are huge, and not very organized. I'm a bust gal, and spending hours flipping through hangers gets really boring to me, and when I get bored, I'm over it. Done. Ready to go to Starbucks, or home, but most likely Starbucks. Have I found some cool stuff at Goodwill before? Yes. But, it's definitely not my first pick. Also, I thrift shop to find cool, vintage, unique pieces. Goodwill I feel tries really hard to display more modern, slightly outdated clothes, rather than more vintage pieces, mainly because the crowd they are most attracting is looking for bargains on current styled clothing, which is great if that is what you're looking for, but I want the old stuff.

2. Undies are a no no. Remember above when I mentioned loving that fact that the clothes I bought already had a history attached to them? Well that statement is just as true for undergarments, and I don't know about you, but that is a history that should be left alone. I'm really picky about where I buy my underwear to begin with, and buying used is completely out of the question. Just don't go there y'all.

3. Think outside the box. It may be a oversized t-shirt, or a giant pair of mom jeans, but do you see potential? High-waisted jeans/shorts are in right now. Cut off tanks and crop tops are also in. Can this item be a DIY project? Those are double the fun! Don't be afraid of a little scissor action or needle and thread, it can be totally worth it, and way cheaper than buying it retail. Plus, we know they did the exact same thing.

4. Shoes? Shoes are a iffy right now for me. I have always said I wouldn't buy shoes used, which I mean really, it is a little gross. Just because feet are gross, and you can't really wash shoes like you can clothes. Maybe if I came across something incredible like some cool lace up boots, I might change my mind, but for now the rule sticks, NO shoes!

5. Wash before you wear. We all know that "smell" thrift stores have. Musty, dusty, grandmas perfume, weird smell. Always wash your purchases before you wear them, and I wash mine separate from my other clothes. Just to be safe. Maybe I'm a little too cautious, I blame my mother.

6. Venture out! Like I said, Goodwill isn't a thrift store, there are so many neat stores, don't be afraid to check them out. Are they in the ghetto? Probably. But you'll find the cool stuff there. If you're really into vintage, go to antique malls, get out the phone book and look for shops near you. Grab some friends, and make a day out of it! It's fun I promise.

If you live in the DFW area, here are some of my favorite spots!

1. Thrift Town, Fort Worth
2. Lula B's East, Deep Ellum Dallas
3. McCart Thrift, Fort Worth
4. Gypsy Cowgirl, Burleson

There is some music that is just good for the soul

I'm sitting outside my favorite Starbucks in University Park Village, sipping on a green tea lemonade, and studying for my last final. Music is important to every aspect of my life, and very necessary when I even try to study or do anything productive. Birdy is a sixteen year old child protege. I would cut off a limb to have the voice she does. Needless to say, she's the perfect finishing touch on my lovely afternoon in the sunshine. 

Blog: Revamp

I've been reading blogs a lot lately, and frankly I love them. I've been thinking, if I love blogs so much why don't I keep up with my own? So I'm gunna. I can't promise it will be anything marvelous, but it WILL be fun. The title of my blog, "Beautiful Things" is derived from the song by Gungor. The chorus says, "You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us", I love those lyrics, I love knowing that no matter how much of a mess I've made, my Savior still can make something incredible, something valuable, something beautiful out of me. I'll be posting about the simple beautiful things in my life. I thrift shop A TON, so I'll post about that. I'll post about food and clothes and makeup and love and life and unicorns and everything exciting that goes on in my life, but lets be real, I'm a full-time college student AND full-time service manager, so it might not be much. But it also will give me something do to when I can't sleep at night. Give me a great big shout if you also think sleeping is overrated.....

*Crickets* 

Anyways, come, read along, it will be fun. I PINKY PROMISE. And pinky promises are about as serious as it gets with me.

Jess.

Mama Mia!

I love Italian food....I mean LOOOOOVE Italian food. Giving up pasta is one of the harder parts about this challenge. BUT Monday night I made Paleo meatballs and spaghetti squash. I was a tad skeptical, but I'm trying to be very open minded about this whole experience, Cody on the other hand wasn't sure about this whole squash thing, until he took a bite. We both loved it. It was delicious and I didn't even miss my noodles. By far my FAVORITE paleo meal so far. We even had left over to take for lunch the next day! And the meatballs were delicious, paleo or not paleo, such a great recipe. Here's the link:
http://www.paleodietmealplans.com/paleo-meatballs/